Built For Love

Cosmic Compatibility Insight w/ Regina Mirando

• Builtforlovepodcast • Season 1 • Episode 6

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What if the stars could help you understand your patterns in love?


In this eye-opening episode of Built For Love, host Javier Ortega sits down with Regina Mirando—astrological counselor, tarot reader, and soul evolution guide with over 25 years of experience—to decode how cosmic alignment shapes connection. From the emotional truths behind moon signs to the deeper meanings of Mars, Venus, and Pluto in relationships, this conversation unpacks more than just zodiac clichés.


We explore:

•What really determines compatibility beyond sun signs

•Why certain signs feel like home, and others trigger your growth

•How astrology mirrors our soul’s journey, patterns, and relationship needs

•Javier’s own chart revelations (hello Cancer moon!)

•How to stop self-abandoning in love and start honoring your emotional needs


Whether you’re astrology-curious or a seasoned stargazer, this episode is a powerful guide for anyone wanting to love more consciously—and attract deeper, more authentic relationships.


Guest Info:

IG: @witchywomanintx


Email: reginamirando@yahoo.com


✨ Love isn’t something we chase. It’s something we’re built for. ✨

Javier:

Hey, there you beautiful souls and welcome to Built For Love. I'm your host, Javier Ortega, and today we're exploring the cosmic side of love and relationships with a special guest. Regina. Regina is an astrological counselor and tarot reader with over 25 years of experience combining astrology psychology and soul evolution to help people better understand themselves and their relationships. She specializes in a plutonian approach using Pluto, Saturn, and the lunar nodes to guide individuals towards their highest potential. If you've ever wondered how astrology can shape your love life, this episode is for you. So let's get into it. Regina, I'm really excited for this conversation. Before we dive into everything, how did you first get into astrology and what drew you to this deeper approach of life?

Regina:

Well, I was in college and I remember just, you know, good old Barnes and Noble, and I read this, I got the, my first book, it's Linda Goodman's Sun Signs, and it just, something clicked and, or the, it just felt like home. It felt like I finally found something that I could really just dive into. And then I moved to Seattle and, and I found classes there out of, you know, I was just looking and, and it was on, you know, back then Craigslist was a thing and two and a half years later, you know, I was just, it was, I was in and I became, I, I am now an official astrologer and I've been, and, you know, but it's never ending. I feel like there's always, there's so much more to learn and now it's, um, I. Finally becoming more popular. And it's really awesome with the younger generation to, to be like really into it.'cause it validates what I've known for the last 25 years. Right. That's so

Javier:

special. I love that. I love hearing that. It validates that, um, yeah, it's, the awareness of astrology is, is, like you said, it's heightened and it's such a powerful thing. Um, you know, it's, uh, a lot of people see it as like a description of them and, you know, it's supposed to be accurate, but it's, I, I see it as awareness so that you can get to know yourself a little bit better and um, and then from there, be able to move towards the direction that you wanna be in.

Regina:

Yeah. I think self-awareness is the first step to getting to know yourself if that's what you want. I mean, we don't have to do it. Right. You know? Um, but you know, at least you're given. You're given the guidebook, you could say the directions.

Javier:

Yeah.

Regina:

The owner's manual in a sense, you know? Right,

Javier:

right, right, right, right, right. No, I love that. Yeah. It creates a deeper awareness. And even for myself, like I, I wasn't, um, that, um, I've always been interested in it, but it's, it didn't really resonate until actually about this past year where, um, I just became so sensitive to what was happening astrologically and, and going into like, um, the basics of like my chart. Like I don't know how to read an actual chart, but, but, um, you know, the descriptions of like the different pla where, where, um, my signs are on the different planets.

Right.

Javier:

Definitely that, that awareness made everything, um, make more sense as to, um, why I was reacting and acting the way I was. During what was going on. And, uh, just having that awareness allowed me to then be like, okay, so it's one thing if I'm like sinking in quick sand and I don't know, and I'm trying to get out and I'm trying to do, I'm trying to get out the way I would get out of water or the way I would get out of, I don't know, milk or oil or whatever. And, um, grass. And when you have the awareness that you're in quicksand, then you know, okay, this is what I do in quicksand. Right. And so, um, it just, again, awareness is such a powerful key to getting to know yourself better and also being able to move through life. I wouldn't say smoother, but more aware, like

Regina:

aware if it's, yes. But so I've, what I've noticed mm-hmm is, um, a lot of people might figure it out or get told, okay, this, this and this, and, but it's sometimes it's really hard, you know, our soul, our, yeah. What our, our egos get in the way. Mm-hmm. You know, of what maybe our soul and karma are meant to teach us. Sometimes our egos are just way too like, Nope, you know, can't do it right now.'cause you know, you gotta get rid of the ego in order to kinda get in there, you could say.

Javier:

Right, right. No, absolutely. I've, I've had a, an ego death myself that it's a painful process, but it is, um, it definitely allow it, it gets you out of your own way. That's what it is. It does, is you get out of your own way, way it has. So, I agree. How much does astrology actually influence compatibility? Is it more than just sun signs?

Regina:

It's definitely more than sun signs. Your sun sign is. Your ego basically. Um, so I will look at your moon sign with the other person, um, and your Venus and Mars. Those are the top three. Um, and I know it's cliche, but there's a reason why it's cliche is'cause Yes, Venus is your love language. Mm-hmm. And so it's how you give and receive love. Your Mars is how you communicate and it's kind of your anger and it's also like your sexuality. So obviously that plays a part in the relationship, right. And then, um, your moon sign is what your emotional needs are. And obviously that's very important, but you can go your whole life and never know what your emotional needs are because you're too busy giving everybody what they need and you don't even know what you need. And that can get tricky, you know? So. I think when I look at two people's charts for like a couple's chart or a sinister chart, those are the things I look at. And so who's, what are each other's emotional needs and how are they talking to each other about it? You know? Gotcha. Are they gonna argue depending on the signs, or are their emotional needs completely like, you know, set, you know, different from one another? So it's like a combination of all that and, um, and you go and you go from there.

Javier:

So are certain zodiac signs naturally more compatible, or does it depend on all those factors? Yeah. Right. So if mm-hmm. Go ahead.

Regina:

Uh, I would say yes. Um, and that would be more like elemental if you wanna, um, okay. Like, think about, you know, air. Fuels fire, right? You can't really have fire without air,

you know, it

Regina:

kind of gives it, um, without oxygen, there's no fire. And so they're really compatible. And then Earth, think about water with earth, water quenches, you know, earth. So if you look at it in a very simplistic, elemental way, that's, that's the first step to compatibility is that part. And if you get people who are, you know, obviously there's plenty of people out there that are like fire and earth and all that. It's just gonna be a little different because the way they do things are gonna come from a different angle. And so you just, that's when you go deeper and are like, okay, well, let me see. Maybe their moon signs are the same or maybe their moon signs are very compatible. And so, uh, I'll give you an example. My parents, my mom is a Leo. Okay? My father's a Taurus. Those two don't really get along naturally if you think about it.'cause they're both stubborn and it's fire and earth. Right.

Javier:

Okay. I was about to ask, what is Taurus?

Regina:

But they both have Pisces moons. Oh. So that makes them, so where they come together is in that part, you know, so that's why sun signs aren't always the end all be all.

Javier:

So they come together. You said moons is the emotions, right? So emotionally, yeah. So they

Regina:

understand each other emotionally, and that's how they probably have made it 51 years, you know? Right. That's beautiful. So it's something like that, you know?

Javier:

Okay. Okay. That, that makes total sense. So what, what, so how do you feel, uh, would you say like within the, the elements like water science tend to resonate really well with water science, fire signs, with fire signs. Is that, is that like a given.

Regina:

I mean, it can be, but of course, you know, not every fire sign's gonna get along with, because that's when our egos kind of kick in and ooh, you get two Leos together and if two, you know, and, and each one wants their own, like, you know, look at me, you're gonna, you know, you're gonna get some, um, tension there. Um, but it, you know, I, I would say it's what I find really funny or fascinating is same sign couples, the most are Virgos. I see so many Virgo couples that are, they're both are Virgos. That's the most consistent one. Out of all the signs that are same sign couples. Mm-hmm.

Javier:

It's

Regina:

always Virgo Virgos.

Javier:

Why do you think that is? Always, and

Regina:

I'm like, um, Virgos are very particular and they analyze and they're just meticulous. And I think that when you're with another Virgo, they understand that. You know, and, and they, and it's like okay to be, you know, a certain way. Like you need things to be like a certain way and you're perfectionists. And, and, but really it's more, um, Virgos are ruled by Mercury and mercury's our communication planet. So Virgos tend to be very analytical. Mm. And if you get another person that understands that and is also analytical, you just can naturally analyze together.

Right. And

Regina:

it works out. It's just, um, I, it's just fascinating to me. I just, I love that though. Every time I'm like, oh, there. And I'm like, of course. It's just interesting.

Javier:

That makes sense. That makes sense.

Regina:

Yeah.

Javier:

So what do, what would you say are some of the biggest misconceptions people have about astrology and dating?

Regina:

Um, I would say when they look at just the sun sign, you know, and then they, they're going by like a newspaper horoscope, you know, they go by like in Cosmopolitan and you read your horoscope and um, and you're just going by, oh, you're this like, um, I'm, my birthday is May 24th and I'm a Gemini. And when people say, they ask you, when's your birthday? And or what sign are you? And I'm like, I'm a Gemini. And I mean, I immediately get the like, oh, you're toothpaste. You know? And it's like, God, there's so much more to me than that. And you know, the other sign that gets that is Scorpios. Yeah. You tell somebody you're a Scorpio and they're immediately like, oh, okay. You know, it's like, oh no. So I would say that's a highly misconception.'cause you can, we're all different, you know, of course we have those traits, but we have so much more as well. So,

Javier:

no, that makes sense. So, have you ever seen two people who were astrologically incompatible, but had a great relationship and what, what, what made that work? If you have?

Regina:

Um, well I would say I've seen like Scorpio, Aries relationships. I've seen a couple of those and, and they're both very intense signs, right? Because they're, Scorpio is ruled by Pluto, which is the, he's the god of war in Roman. Oh, you know, and then, or you get Mars, or I'm sorry, Pluto's, a ruler of the underworld and Mars is the god of war. So you get, you think about it in those terms and you're like, whoa, those are some two intense, really two intense people. And um, and you would think on the surface, that's not gonna be compatible.'cause they're gonna be two. Like they're wanting to demolish each other, you know?

Mm-hmm.

Regina:

Um, but my two friends, they've been together like 20 years and they are very happy. And I think, um, I haven't done their charts, but I know for a fact they have to have something that, that smooths them over, that they have water in there somewhere, because there's no way those two signs on a ego level are gonna match because they're too, you know, Aries is very, um, let's go, let's go, let's do this, you know? And, um, and just angst and Scorpio's, like, I wanna dig deep and find out what's really going on underneath. And, you know, they don't naturally, they're just not naturally compatible. But, um, but you get, like I said, you get into the deeper part of their chart and not you're gonna find it. You're just gonna find it. There's no way you're gonna find it. I get proven. Every time I do someone's chart. And I'm still amazed, and it's been like 25, 30 years and I'm still like, oh, I still, when I see it and I'm, I'm right and I'm, I'm still blown away by it. You know, it never gets old.

Javier:

Right. You

Regina:

know? So.

Javier:

I love that. It's awesome. So now that we're talking about that though, and kinda wanna take it back a little bit, we talked about Gemini and Scorpios being like the uhoh signs for, uh, people. Um, who, who, who are they most compatible with? Just, just in sun signs?

Regina:

Um, I would say Geminis are really compatible with air signs. Like I have a ton of Libra friends. Okay. Like all my friends are like, really close friends are Libras, um, because they're air signs. So air and air understand like. Let's see. So Libras and Aquarians are the other air signs with Gemini. And so there's something about air signs where you can just talk and you don't have to be intense and it can just stay fluffy, you know, and nobody's gonna get deep and, you know, um, that energy doesn't match because Scorpios really wanna get to the bottom of things. They really wanna understand you on a deep, deep level. So they gotta be with someone who can also go there and allow that. Like Pisces, Pisces of Scorpios are probably very compatible'cause Pisces are mutable and they're both water. Okay? You get a air sign with a water sign, the air might feel suffocated because what is, you know, um, because the air sign is more mentally focused and the water sign is more emotionally focused, so sometimes it feels. Too intense for an air sign. It's like, why do we have to live in the freaking underworld? Can't we just go up and like, get some air and walk around? You know? But those, some of those water signs, they just wanna always be in their feelings and, um, you have to come up for air, so to say, you know? Mm-hmm. So that's where it, it really plays a part. And that, and both sides have to understand that.'cause sometimes you get the one side, but they're like, but this are my feelings. And, and, um, and it's like, I don't, okay, but I don't wanna live there. Right. Let's, let's, you know, let's, you know, there's more to it. Be more balanced. It's all about balance. Mm-hmm. Really at the end, it's all about balance,

right? So I love that.

Regina:

And every sign has a shadow side, so, oh, what is that? Um, so you're gonna see, and so that depends on the evolution of the person of their soul. Like, you know, how they say, oh. Uh, I feel like, um, some people you can tell that are older souls, like they've been around the block and so they're a little more grounded and understanding. Hmm. While you get some people who are very in their ego, and I would say those people are probably younger souls.

Javier:

Okay. That makes sense.'cause our

Regina:

ego's the first thing you get to Right. It's, it's when you go deeper that you get into the other stuff.

Javier:

Right.

Regina:

So that's how I can kind of tell where someone's at.

Javier:

I a hundred percent resonate with that. I, I, I've done my dive into Otto's young souls, uh, journey of souls, uh, type of thing. Um, journey. Yeah. Um, so it's fascinating. Right? And it's, it's, it's expansive. It really is. It gets you to really understand, um, everyone around you more, uh, without judgment, right. And also showing up connected to everyone more. Um, oh

Regina:

yeah. And getting past, like you said, get putting your ego aside and I think that takes wisdom.

Mm-hmm.

Regina:

And you only get that from experience. Like, um, I don't know. I feel like sometimes when you're around people who are very, um, like it's their pride, I would say pride would be an ego thing. Right? Right. And so if somebody's so caught up in their pride, um, they're getting in their own way of the bigger picture, you know? Um, so that might be someone with a younger soul because your pride has no business in your evolution. It's not gonna get you anywhere when it's, you're just too proud to like, be accountable, if that makes sense. It

Javier:

does. It absolutely makes sense. Yeah. Um, so going back to the placements, you mentioned this earlier in the conversation. Um. What are the most important placements in someone's birth chart when it comes to love and relationships?

Regina:

Well, let's see. Um, I would say your moon, if I were to pick one sign out of, or one planet out of all of'em, I would say your moon is the most important because it is where, what our emotional needs are. And if you, if you, like I said earlier, your emotional needs are extremely important. And if you go in your whole lifetime not understanding what they are, it's like your, um, the five love languages. Mm. That's pretty much what's your moon sign? Gotcha. I mean, it's just, it's so fascinating, um, because, you know, so astrology would say you're moon, but in, you know, I guess what is that? Um, pop psychology or whatever you wanna call it. It's um, what's your love language and. You know, I'm a Gemini, so what's my love language? Words of affirmation, you know,'cause it's meant I like mental. Um, I like to be mentally stimulated. So other people, um, they might, my moon is in cancer, so I have, I'm really sensitive. So at the end, um, it makes sense that I need words of affirmation because it's probably like, yeah, I need someone to be a little nice to me, otherwise I might go in the corner and cry. So it's, um, I think that your moon sign's so important and a lot of times when we're younger, you know, when you're young in relationships, you just want to be to please the other person to make them love you. Right? Right. That's the common. Thing. We, everybody, every, I don't care, every single person has done it where they cater to the other person and that other person is like, oh, sure, okay, gimme everything I need. But if you don't tell me what you need and you're mm-hmm, then I'm not, I can't give it to you. That, and if the person is like, well, I don't even know what I need, you know, my need is you. And it's like, well, no, your needs aren't that other person you have needs and let's, let's talk about what they are. And, um, you need to be able to communicate that to your significant other. And if they can't match it, that's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. But they're not gonna be the best fit for you. Right. And that's all it means. Or you're gonna be okay with what they can or cannot give you. And you have to accept that. And, and a lot of people pretend that they're okay. With, oh, that's okay. I don't need that. You know, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then a year later they're upset. They're like, oh, they never do this for me. And I just wish they would. It's like, but you knew this. You knew that they were never gonna, it's like you can't get blood from a stone.

Mm-hmm.

Regina:

So you either accept them for who they are and what they can or cannot give you. You either accept it and know that you're not gonna get that from them. Or you go, okay, you know what? I love you. I think you're awesome, but you're not meant to be my partner. But

Javier:

Right.

Regina:

It's not personal. Never. You can't get blood from a

Javier:

stone. I like that. I like your references. So let's go in a different direction. I'm gonna be a little selfish here on my, on this episode. So, speaking of needs. Mm-hmm. As I am, um, currently in the process of dating, um, I. I wanted to dive into my chart and see if we could discuss what I need to know about my needs or, um, anything that I, you know, what are some compatibility traits I should look for in others?

Regina:

And I have your chart. Let me see. I'm gonna pull it up.

Javier:

Thank you. Um, earlier when you, I, I laughed out loud too when you said, um, you know, as a, as a moon cancer, you're like, uh, don't be mean. I'm gonna go cry in the corner. It's, I I, I'm also, I'm a sun cancer, moon cancer. I think, correct me if I'm wrong, my Venus is in cancer.

Regina:

Okay. So you have, yes, you're right. Your, your son, your moon and your Venus are all like packed in together in cancer. So, I mean, you. You like to be the leader, but also the mama bear, you know? Mm-hmm. Like, you're, you're definitely maternal. You have a lot of maternal, you wanna take care of everybody. Um, the thing is, is you are needing to learn how to be about yourself. You know? Um, you can't like, uh, you know how, when, like nurture someone to death, if you could say that, like, you know, sometimes, and I've done this too, it's like where you feel like you give and give and give and give, and you feel like, well, if I just keep giving, they'll eventually, you know, gimme what I, I want. You know? And it's like, well, yes, but are you giving, you know, it has to be someone who's receiving. Mm-hmm. Sometimes you get people who just take, and there's a difference between receiving and taking. And I would say, um. You're somebody, you know, that you just, you, you need to hear, you need to be nurtured too. But I don't know if you allow it so much. You know, like you probably are uncomfortable being nurtured because you feel more in control when you're the one nurturing, you know? And you're like, no, no, no, I don't need, I'm fine. You know? But it's like, no, no, you know, here's some you need, you need to, you know, take care of yourself too. You can't take care of everybody. You know, it's, and it's, um, it's learning how to navigate through all of that. Um, but you're such a good, you, you're so good at it. Like you've been doing it for Century, you know, you've been doing it for lifetimes. Um, being in that nurturing role, like you have a fem, you know, you're very in tune with that feminine. With the feminine. Mm-hmm. And I feel like. You are learning how to be more in the masculine, which means whether we like it or not, you know, um, you know, more leader, more, you know, go-getter. Um, and you need to find the balance. You're still like this, you know, um, with the nurturing. And so it's just basically know who you're gonna nurture, who, who deserves it, honestly.

Mm-hmm.

Regina:

Because, um, you know, being a fellow cancer moon, I've definitely nurtured people who didn't deserve it, you know? And um, and then you get resentful and you build it, you hold it all in, um, and then it comes out, it ends up coming out in a passive aggressive way, you know, and on the shadow side. Gotcha. On the shadow side, you know, on a bad day, you know, you're end up gonna end up being like, Hmm, I'm fine. You know, your dinner's in the microwave. Hmm. Or something, I don't know. You know, like, um, you're gonna, you're gonna feel resentful because that person isn't doing any, you know, they're just taking, and you know it in your heart, but you just wanna, your reaction would be to just keep giving, give more, you know, give more hope. You know, and that person's like, well, you know, you meet those people, you meet those takers, and, and they're there to teach us a lesson, right? They're to, they're there to teach us to have boundaries with who we, who deserves us and who doesn't. I would say

Javier:

so 100% resonate with all of that. Um,

Regina:

yeah. Yeah. You would probably be compatible with, um, probably earth or another water, you know, I would say fire's gonna, if you ever were to be with a fire sign, they're there to, they're gonna, um, they're gonna teach you. A lesson. Fire signs will be there to teach you a lesson, but they're not gonna be very accommodating to your sensitive side. In general, in a very general way, I would say earth signs are gonna be, are gonna be more caring and reciprocative of,'cause you're very grounded too. I mean, you're, you know, you're a grounded person, so you need someone that resonates with that, you know, and if you just get some crazy fire sign, like, um, unless they have earth or water in them in a general way, that they're gonna just, it's gonna be a lot. You're not gonna get your needs met. Right. I would say'cause they're not gonna be sensitive to, to all of that.

Javier:

Um, this is not to call anyone out. I promise you this is not what I'm doing, but I am looking to see, so my ex was a. Sagittarius, Gemini Moon and a Scorpio rising. I mean, I can go further into his chart, but it was definitely a, um, we were very different. Very different. And that was an 11 year relationship, taught me a lot. Very, very karmic. Very, um, very much. Yeah. You, you, like you mentioned earlier, you kind of want to keep nurturing and keep nurturing and, and a part of that is hoping that they, at some point they'll see, you know, how much you are giving to them and you'll receive that back. And, and that's why you keep giving and you keep giving and you keep giving. And it's not that, you know, this person is a bad person, it's just the compatibility was off. It really was.

Regina:

Mm-hmm. Well, Gemini Moon, I mean, so Moon is your emotional, um, you know, your emotional needs. A Gemini moon would be someone who needs to talk about their feelings, but not necessarily feel their feelings. Feeling their feelings is not, is like Hmm. You know, especially being a sad son. Mm-hmm. A Scorpio rising is they're gonna come off as very intense or very like err, you know? But as soon as you get past,'cause your rising sign, the purpose of your rising sign is the, it's our front door to our personality. So it's what we present to the world. It doesn't mean that's who we are, it just means it's our mask. So maybe, you know, it's, but you having all that cancer, um, no. They're gonna just wanna talk about it, and then they're gonna tell you you're needy. You know Right. Because you're putting out their fire, you're putting out, you're, you're drowning, or they're gonna perceive it as, as drowning, you know, you're, you're too much. And because their emotional needs aren't to be nurtured.

Javier:

Right.

Regina:

Their emotional needs are to talk about it, if that makes sense. It

Javier:

is. It it does. It does. And it's funny because it's like, you know, you say that they're gonna think you're needy, but I'm like, I've learned that. No, I'm not needy. My needs aren't being met. There's a difference.

Regina:

Right. But when you don't know that and you don't know your, and you don't know what your emotional needs are and you have, you know, and having a cancer moon is a blessing and a curse because it's a blessing, because that's the natural, that's what the moon is rule rules cancer. So it's very, very comfortable in cancer, but it's gonna make us be sensitive and, and maternal and nurturing and, um. You know, you get someone who's like, I don't, that's just not what they need. That's just not what they need. And, um, and so they're not gonna perceive it the same way you're perceiving it as in like, this is, but I wanna take care of you and La la They're like, I don't need to be taken care of. And, uh, and it, if you don't understand what you need, you're gonna come across as needy.

Javier:

Right. You know, a hundred percent every,

Regina:

and that's, if that's to anybody who doesn't know or understand what their emotional needs are, because they're gonna just be like, well, can you give it to me? Well, can you give it to me? Well, can you give it to me? And, um, and they're finding all the wrong people.

Mm-hmm.

Regina:

You know, um, because they just want, they just want to be, if you're okay, if you're just like, I just want to be loved. Right. And it's like, okay, but that's not sure. Everybody wants to be loved. I mean, of course. But, um, but there's more to it than just, I wanna be loved. But if you don't even know what that is, well, how do you wanna be loved?

Right.

Regina:

Is a huge, it's huge. It's like, well, okay, great, but how, and so for your ex being a Gemini moon, he's gonna be someone who's probably more mentally, like, more, um, mentally stimulated by the thoughts of feelings, you know? Mm-hmm. Um, but not necessarily the feelings. Like sitting in the feelings is uncomfortable.

Javier:

Right.

Regina:

You know?

Javier:

Right. Yeah. And that makes a lot of, sorry, sorry. That makes a lot of sense. My ex, after that ex, um, was, uh, Pisces, Gemini, and Leo, also a Gemini moon. And so as you're explaining that, it, it, it resonates a lot. Um, because, you know, when it came to me expressing, expressing my emotions and things like that, it's like, well, why don't you wanna feel them? Like, well, why don't you wanna like, sit with them, but. That's, that's, and again, this is why, um, astrology has expanded me so much because I, I have been able to dive in and learn, like, you know, sometimes we think it's a little bit more black and white and we think, you know, I want, I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna love them the way that I wanna be loved, right. And right in hopes that they love me the way that I wanna be loved. But it's not black and white. We all, we all process emotions differently, process, anger differently, process, um mm-hmm. All of it differently, you know, and, and that's where like this awareness really makes a huge difference.

Regina:

But you nailed it on the head when you said, um, what we're giving is what we want back. Mm-hmm. And you know, and that's why we have to know that and know, okay, well this is who I am and I, this is how I give and this is how I love. And when you start to feel uhoh, this person's not.

Hmm.

Regina:

I'm not feeling good, you know, like this, this doesn't make my heart fluttered, this makes my heart sink, you know? Mm-hmm. Um, that's your cue to where, okay, maybe I need to rein it in a little bit because they're not, they, I don't know if they're gonna understand or they're not gonna give me back. It's, I'm 50 years old and I'm still learning this stuff, you know? So it's like you get better at it as life gets, um, as you experience it. But it's, it's a boundary issue because then you have to understand that you have to have a boundary with that other person, you know, be like, okay, well you know what? I'm not gonna dive in anymore. What's the point?

Right.

Regina:

And that's okay. There's nothing wrong with that other person, just'cause they can't recognize that they're unable to give you that. I

agree.

Regina:

They're, they're, they're not a bad person, you know, they're just not meant to perhaps be your person.

Javier:

Right. And I say that all the time lately. Um. Because, uh, it's, it's, I mean, there's so much truth in that. Um, and it's, it's

Regina:

hard though because when we want something and we really like somebody and we really, really want them to just fit, you know? Mm-hmm. And, and they just don't, I mean, and it's hard. It's hard. You, it's hard to like, it's okay, I'll let go. It's so hard, it's hard to do. So it's easier than said, than done, but when you can do it, you are gifting yourself with, so you're saving yourself from a lot of ego pain, I would say.

Javier:

Okay. Yeah, I agree. I agree. It's, and you know, that's the beauty of life too. It's like every relationship teaches you something about yourself. Right. And it's,

I know.

Javier:

It's like that's,

yes. We,

Javier:

we, we. It's, it's amazing when you finally understand like, oh, I'm the common denominator of like what I've been attracting, you know, and no kidding. And a lot of that, oh my gosh, is not that you're intentionally doing it, but a lot of it's subconscious, a lot of it is coming from like the, the healing that needs to be done, right? We live in a society where we grow up as children and it's like, you are too, you know, don't speak or this, like, there's a lot of like not being seen and being heard as a child. And so most people, if not all, um, we at some point or another we're seeking validation in life.

Regina:

Everybody seek, everybody needs it. And as a counselor, um, that is my main, that is my number one. Anybody and everybody needs to feel they're not crazy and that somebody, they need to be. They they do. It's, I mean, and, and this goes beyond astrology. This just goes in life, you know, being a human. Um. You, if somebody feels validated, they're more likely to not, they're gonna have that defensive, emotional armor is gonna be taken off. Mm. Because, oh, I can relax, because you understand. You don't think I'm a jerk because I'm, or crazy or terrible.

Right.

Regina:

It's, you know, and if you can go, oh my God, that must be really hard. That's why empathy is very important, you know? And because everybody needs to be validated. Everybody,

right?

Regina:

I mean, if you don't need validation, maybe you're in the, you're a monk on, you know, into that, you know. Um, but your average person needs to feel like somebody understands them and somebody, and then as soon as they do, you're more likely to hear perhaps some constructive work. You know? Right,

Javier:

right. And, and this is like

Regina:

a validation sandwich,

Javier:

right. This is also why this conversation is so important.'cause it's not just about dating and romantic relationships, it's it's relationships in general. Right? Right. And so it's one thing to like, yes. You know, validation is important to us because it, it, it validates connection really. And if you have connection from there, you have, you know, that can grow into so many different things. Again, just even just as friends or as family. Mm-hmm. Um, but at the same time, you know, these relationships sometimes teach you that you're looking for validation in places that aren't, that may not be healthy for you either. Right. Like, you know. Correct. You know, for me, I was looking for it because I didn't receive that as a child. And I grew up very lonely and I grew up very, um, you know, bullied and, and so I, I didn't receive that. So I was always trying to make people feel very seen, very heard, very validated. But I also, it wasn't coming from an authentic place because it wasn't coming. It was coming from me trying to fill that void, fill that space. Well,

Regina:

it was, it had a price tag. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's a gambling, a little bit of a tag. It was like, well, I'm giving you all this so you can give it to me. Right. And tell me I'm, you know, I just want,'cause you want someone to validate you. Right. And, um, and that's where we, that's where things get tricky. Mm-hmm.

Is

Regina:

a hundred percent. It's not coming from an authentic place. And if you wanna give, then you want to give, but as soon as you start expecting that person to worship you, because you're giving, you're not doing it for the right reason.

Javier:

Right. Right. And I, and that's a hard lesson to learn. And I'm, it's a hard, again, like you can see through my chart, like, I'm a very like, um, empathetic, uh, passionate, nurturing person. Right. But even me, I was, I, I, I didn't realize that's what I was looking for until. You know, I, I, I had a, a twin flame experience and it teaches you a lot. It surfaces a lot of the things that you need to heal and work on. And that was one of the things is, is it's, it really, um, guided me to dive into a lot of childhood, you know, that inner childhood work healing and Yeah, and going back and seeing things as the painful experiences, the traumatic experiences as they are, right? Because you can, you can't go back and like validate yourself, right? Like if you didn't have that validation, right, you didn't have it. If you didn't, if you weren't seeing, if you didn't have that attention, you didn't have it. Right. But having that awareness, just like these tools that take us deeper, right? Whether it's astrology, whether it's, um, you know, you do tarot, anything, whether it's, uh, you know, there's all these different avenues that we can go in that that is, are specifically there to dive into the deeper work to understand yourself and also. To, um, have that awareness to move towards that person that you desire to be. Um,

Regina:

right.

Javier:

Go ahead

Regina:

and then you will attract what you need when you need it. Mm-hmm. And if you're, the more you understand your authentic being, the more you're gonna attract other people. But when you're not doing it for the right reasons, you're gonna attract takers.

Mm-hmm. You're just our,

Regina:

you know, I've been, I've been down that road too, and I, and you're a hundred percent. I did the exact same thing. I wasn't doing it from an authentic place. I just wanted them to do, I just wanted them to recognize me and to be like, you're worthy. Right. You know, you're lovable. Right. You know? Um, and I didn't get it because it was the universe being like, because you're not doing it. You're not doing, I was doing it for, there was a price tag

mm-hmm. Attached. Mm-hmm.

Regina:

And then I'd get all upset, you know, when they wouldn't even when they were like, no, I don't want that. You know? And, um, and it was like, why am I attracting emotionally unavailable people? Right. You know, why am I attracting to that? And it's like, well, because I'm emotionally unavailable, you know? Right. And, you know, and, and it's because I'm not in tune. I'm emotionally unavailable to myself.

Mm-hmm.

Regina:

You know? And so as soon as I started like caring about me and like really turning it around, you know, now I'm getting people who are a lot more nurturing

Javier:

Right.

Regina:

In my life. And it's like, and then, and then when you get old enough and wise enough, um, you can go, well, thank God I didn't end up with them because holy cannoli, that would've been the worst experience ever. And so, you know. You it. It's sometimes the most painful breakups or relationships are the ones that are gonna teach you so much. And in hindsight, you know, you have to trust like, you know what, I have to trust that this is all happening for something that's bigger than me. Right. You know? But gosh, it sure does help you when you can do that. When you can just get past again, right back to where we started. Get your e, put your ego away and it's not personal. Right. Like the four agreements, it's not personal. I

Javier:

love, I love four agreements.

Regina:

Yeah. Like it has saved me so much because it is like, it is cancer moons are per, we take it personally. I mean, we just do. It's like, how dare you? No. And it's so hard not to take it personally, but it's not about, they're not, they have issues too, you know? Right. And they can't give you what you need for their own reasons. And it has absolutely nothing to do with you. Like I have been told, you know, in the past, like, oh, you're so great and you know, it's not about you, it's about me. And you get all like, oh, whatever, you know, shut up. You know? But, um, but it's, it the truth, you know, they have their hangups and you, and we're just, it's just not a good, it's not the match that's meant to be. Right. You know, it's hard though. I,

Javier:

I will, I'm, I feel like I should say this. Um, so I will throw in, you know, one of the things that I've, I've also discovered in my healing this, these last few months is that, um, you know, there is a thing spiritually when you are doing the work called an ego death. And Yes, I used to think like, okay, at some point we. Get to a point in this life where we do not operate from the ego, right. You know, through ego deaths and whatnot. And I realized that, you know, yes, I had an ego death. And that was like a big, a big shift in like, I tell people I'm not living the next chapter of my life. Like I'm gonna, I'm a whole new book in the series of this life, right? And so that included why an ego death, but the ego's still there. And of course I've learned that instead of trying to like push it and force it out and get it to shut up and have no voice, that's actually why the ego's there. Because it's there to protect you. It's there to protect the parts of you that didn't receive validation, that didn't receive being seen or heard. So you're actually fighting yourself. And the more you try to fight it, it's like. It's trying to fight for you. So it's, it's contradicting. I've, I've learned.

Regina:

Well, it has a purpose. It does. Our egos are there for a reason. Our purpose, it's the purpose to give us confidence and self-respect. Mm-hmm. It's our self boundaries, respect and boundaries to be like, oh heck no. You know what I mean? Right. No, I deserve to be treated like when somebody's ugly or mean. There's, you know, our ego is what's like, um, okay, now it's just balance though. Keeping it in check. Right, right. That's all, it's balance.

Javier:

The way I see it is like befriending the ego. Like, correct. Like, like giving yourself you, giving your ego validation. Um, not in a like cocky way or anything like that, but giving it validation of like, okay, I understand that you're here for me, allows you to be able to work with it a lot more. Right. It gives you the awareness.

Regina:

Well, and it gives you a sense of like, when you're proud of yourself for doing something

right.

Regina:

You know, like, oh my god, you know, um, when I graduated from school I was like proud of myself. That was my ego, you know? And it was like, and, but I had, you know, but that's healthy. There's, our egos are healthy when we're doing it out of self, self, self-respect is not cocky.

Mm-hmm.

Regina:

You know? Um, but again, it's balance. It's just knowing how to balance your ego with, Ooh, that was, you know, me. I don't know if I kind of messed up. Right. You know? Um, there's a, it's accountability, but it is your self-respect. A hundred percent. Oh my goodness. Yeah. We can't live without, we have to have self-confidence. You know, this world is way too harsh, you know, to not, and people will take advantage of that, you know, when you don't have. Um, a strong sense of self.

Javier:

Right. Okay. Okay. So all that we, we dived in discussing my moon. What other, uh, what other areas in my chart would you say, you know, would help with me being aware when it comes to, like, seeing if, if I'm compatible with people or who I'm compatible with or, or, you know, on dates?

Regina:

Um, I do think that you just need somebody who can, I mean, you need someone who's a good communicator and who's grounded. You need a mature person, a mature soul who can recognize they, they have to be grounded, you know? Um, because you have, uh, you have, I mean this is getting more advanced, but it's a earth grand trine. And shrines are, are good things, you know, and earth is, um, like, it's very complimenting to water, you know, and you have a Virgo rising, so, which is earth. Um, you know, your security is emotional security, if that makes sense. Yeah. Um, and your Mars, which is where our sex drive is and, and our, like our, you know, how we communicate in our anger, it's Taurus. And Taurus is very grounded. Taurus is about slow and steady wins the race. So you're not somebody to have, you don't get, you don't get angry. You know, you get more like, um hmm. I'm gonna mental note that I'm gonna, yeah. You know, I'm gonna keep that in mind. But when you finally get there. It's, there's hell to pay because it's like the Tauruses, they're so grounded and they're so patient. You're very patient with people. Little things just don't bother, you know, you see past the little things. Um, but you know, again, there's a point where you're like, okay, that's just ridiculous, you know? And now I'm mad. Now you made me mad. But it, um, but then you'll go back and you'll start over again and be patient again because it's just not worth it. Um, so you need to be with somebody who isn't going to take advantage of that patience, you know? And who's gonna be more, um, affectionate. You need someone who's affectionate, I would say too. What,

Javier:

uh, planet did you say that Taurus was?

Regina:

Mars is in Taurus. Mars. Okay. In Mars.

Javier:

So would that be me looking for compatibility in other people's Mars? Like what would you say is compatible to Taurus?

Regina:

Well, I mean, Mars, um, your Venus and Tous Venus is in cancer, and your Mars is in Tous, so that's water earth. They are getting along really well, you know, so, um, so you need to find somebody that is complimentary to that energy. So I would say like a moon in Taurus, perhaps. Okay. You know? Oh, okay. Um, you know, uh, maybe an earth sign moon, their moon is in an earth sign or their, uh, Venus is in an earth sign. Um, so you need someone to handle that pace as well, because if you're with someone who's like, you know, the, the, the rabbit and the hair, the turtle and the hair, right? It's not a marathon. I mean, it is a marathon. It's not a race, you know? Mm-hmm. We're not sprinting to the end. We are taking our time and we're learning and we're appreciating the journey. You need someone that recognizes. The journey, you know, maybe a little, somebody a little older could be beneficial. You know, I think if you were to date, you know, dating someone younger might not, you know, maybe that's interesting. Figuratively and literally, you know. But, um, you might be a, I would say a person, you know, who's at least older, either in their soul or older on this earth, um, is probably gonna, you need somebody who's more mature,

right?

Regina:

You know, a mature person who understands that it's a process and we're learning, and not someone who's just always firefighter, fire on the go, on the go, on the go. Let's go, let's go, let's go. You know? Woo. It's like, no, that doesn't, that doesn't resonate with you at all. You know, like, it's just like, you're, it's annoying. I would, I would think that for you it'd be like, um, ugh. You know, like, it's just, it's, it's, it's, um. It's exhausting to, even their energy is exhausting, you know? Right. In a sense. Um, because you're just, that's just not where you resonate.

What,

Regina:

and that's great. They that's awesome. Go them. You know? We need people like that in the world. Yeah. We need people that are on fire, you know? Um, everybody has their, their, their journey, their purpose. Right. Um, but, you know, but your, whoever your person is is gonna have to be like, it's not gonna be that.

Javier:

Mm-hmm. What about, um, air signs? I'm just curious.

Regina:

Um, air is, is would work, but um, again, they might be too heady. Like, I think initially it'll be fun, you know, you'd be like, oh yeah, we can talk and I can talk for hours, you know. Um, but the minute it comes to like, let's get in there, you know? Um. They're gonna be like, oh no, I don't really, no. You know, they're, they, um, that

Javier:

really resonates.

Regina:

It's not, again, not personal, you know, it's not personal. They're just not comfortable necessarily. They wanna have, they're just la la la, la you know, I mean, it's, it's not gonna be your best fit. Okay. I would say.

Okay.

Regina:

Not gonna be the worst, you know, again, I'm an air sign and look at me, you know, so, um, but I can tell you I've dated water signs and I'm just like, oh my gosh. Like, stop. It's just not like, you know, and, um, so it's just, it just, you know, I've, I learned that about myself too, so I. Uh, I mean, yeah, air signs are fine. You're a Virgo rising, so even though Virgo is a earth sign, they're ruled by mercury. So they're very mentally inclined. That would be, that would work for you in a certain dynamic, like in friendships and maybe work related. Okay. But it's not gonna work in romantic partnerships because you're gonna wanna go deeper and they might not have that capacity.

Javier:

Okay. You know, noted.

Regina:

But you never know. Gosh, again, right. This is general, this is a very general Yes. You know?

Javier:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is all just for awareness. Again, like, and then you also see again, I, I had tendencies and may still have, but not as much as before because I'm aware of it, of, of getting bitter or, you know, tendencies of being too emotional to the point where I was like trapping myself and getting in my own way because. I didn't have the awareness that, okay, they're this sign, that's not how they're gonna process it No matter what. You try to, no matter how emotional you get about it,

Regina:

they, you know, they don't resonate with your emotions about it. Right? And, and it's, and then that's where you have to, that's the accountability. And that's where it comes in to be like, okay, maybe they're not, it's not all their fault, right? Maybe I participated in some of this dynamic, you know, it, it takes two to tango, right?

Javier:

Mm-hmm. It doesn't help if you're trying to make them be aware either, like you can't, that's that. Then you're manipulating. And at that point, like it's correct. It's not healthy. And

Regina:

that's hard. It's hard to admit, you know, it's hard to admit that like you, oh, okay, you know what? I did that to manipulate them a little bit.

Javier:

Hmm.

Regina:

I need to work on that. Right. It you're like, yikes,

Javier:

right? No, yeah. Like it's, it's, it's a thing to, to have to face yourself, right?

Regina:

Mm-hmm.

Javier:

Okay. Okay. Thank you Regina. I appreciate that. Um,

Regina:

oh yeah.

Javier:

Yeah, that's really, there's a lot of good nuggets up in there, um, in my chart. Okay, so now let me ask you, what advice would you give someone who keeps dating people they're astrologically compatible with, but still struggle in relationships?

Regina:

I would say, again, it all comes down to understanding what your emotional needs are, um, because they might be compatible, but if they're toxic, you know, then they're not, then they're the problem, right? Mm-hmm. Um, we're the problem if we're not doing our own work and the other person, you know, you attract people that are perfect, but you're toxic. So again, it's um, getting a very skewed version of your emotional needs. You're doing it in a manipulative way, perhaps. Um, so it's about understanding boundaries and just understanding. I need It's okay to have needs really, um, some people they don't know how to do that.'cause no one has ever given them that. Mm-hmm. So, um, if you don't, if somebody doesn't, uh, recognize that energy, like, well, how do I not abandon myself? Mm. You know, it starts with that. And like, I, when I lived in San Francisco and I was getting my graduate degree in counseling, they made us go to counseling, you know, because they were always like, well, if you can't, if you're gonna help others, you have to be the, you know, you have to be in the chair too. And what I recognized when I was in therapy, and she told me, she goes, oh, she used the word self abandonment when I would, she would basically hold me accountable to when I was giving too much to the wrong person. And she was like, oh, you self abandoned. You know, and ever since that, I, that's what I utilize that worrying too, because that's exactly what it is. I love that when you, you're not, you're abandoning yourself and that's never gonna feel good. And then you're gonna end up constantly projecting your hurt onto your partner, and that's not who you are. That's just your hurt. You know, and you're, but you're self abandoning me, abandoning yourself because you're not acknowledging what you need. You know that right there. Yep. You know, so, um, self abandonment is a big one in, in hurt, in pain.

Javier:

Right.

Regina:

You know, so I was, I don't know how to, I guess that would be the best way to describe it.

Javier:

No, that's a great way to describe it. I, I mean, I think that sometimes you don't even realize self abandonment is a thing. And so then hearing that just, you know, can turn on a light bulb in someone's head and. Start to like, think about that here and there, and then find moments when they're self abandoning them, abandoning themselves. So I think that's great. So

yeah.

Javier:

How can someone use astrology to date with more intention and self-awareness if, if they're just starting off with astrology?

Regina:

Um, well, you know, it's easy to just look up someone's moon sign. You don't have to know all the inner things of like what time you were born and where you can easily just look at someone's date, their date of birth and find out. And, um, I think that that's just, that's where, that's a good place to start. Mm-hmm. You know, um, we were all more than our sunshine. Mm-hmm. You know, we're so much more than that. Uh, so don't take it at, um, don't judge a book by its cover. I guess you could say love, you know. Um, but again, if you, if you want a good partner and you want all these things, you, you be a good partner. You do it, you, it doesn't matter. That person could be, like, I always say timing is everything. And if you can't meet, if you, you can meet literally like, you know, the most perfect human on the planet, that was like literally made to be with you. But if you're immature or whatever, you're not doing helping yourself, it doesn't matter who that person is.

Mm-hmm.

Regina:

You're not good enough for them. Yeah. So, I mean, it's, it's, it's really just about, not to sound like it's all about you, but you know, it is, we're, we're the ones left. At the end of the day, we only have ourselves. We have to live with ourselves and what we do and how we act and how we treat others and blah, blah, blah. It always comes back to if you're a good person and you're working on yourself, it's okay to be imperfect in that journey. Um. Because you're, you're, you're doing your best, right? Yeah. Going back to the four agreements, you're doing your best. So it's literally about how can I be a better person? Every, and I've, you know, every day I say my gratitude and, and I always say, may I be better today than I was yesterday? You know? And I say that almost every day. Um, because I, I, that's, that's exactly what I wanna be. I wanna be better than I was yesterday and whatever that means, however that means, and I just, I wanna be a better person, so then I attract better people.

Right. You

Regina:

know? But it's not, you're never, it's never gonna end if you don't work on you.

Javier:

Yep.

Regina:

You know, it always comes back to you. So

Javier:

I agree. Love that. Thank you so much Regina. So this has been such a fascinating conversation. I love how astrology isn't just about compatibility, but about deeper self-awareness and growth in relationships. Before we wrap up, is there any final thought you'd like to leave for those listening? Maybe a piece of advice for someone who wants to use astrology as a tool for love and connection.

Regina:

Um, you know, so when I was in Astro when I was learning, um, a lot of people don't understand that astrology's actually science, you know, and it's a lot of math. Um, people see it as a novelty and because, you know, that's, but you know, back in the day, like back. In the day, astrology was used to when to do certain things physically, like when to do surgeries, when to,

you

Regina:

know, um, so it's just like, play with it, have fun with it, enjoy it for what it provides, you know? Um, you don't have to see it as, I don't believe in that. Like, why, why don't use it as a tool and be, and have fun with it. See it as a tool to play with and use it as a tool to understand yourself. And that's it. It's so simple and really, um, it's there to help, to help you be better. So why not use it? You know? And, and if not, if Astrology's not for you, then maybe, you know, there's a hundred different. Things and lenses to look through. Whichever, whatever you wanna, you know, grab from, you're gonna end up. It's always gonna be the same, you know, whatever it is. And that's because we are so much bigger than this, this realm. Right. You know, um, it goes beyond this. Yes. And so As long as you're doing the work on yourself to be a better person, it doesn't matter what you use. I chose astrology because it resonated with me, and then I added it to psychology and counseling and that's what works for me. You know?

Yeah.

Regina:

Other people do what you do, you know, do you boo? Whatever that means. So.

Javier:

Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and insight. For anyone who wants to dive deeper into astrology, um, do you have an, uh, social media account, maybe an email that they can reach out to you? Um, I know that you do offer services, tarot services, um, yeah. Astrology services.

Regina:

Yes. My email is just, my name is Regina Marando at Yahoo. That's a way to get ahold of me or my Instagram. I can teach. Um, I'm a, I used to teach astrology in San Francisco. I used to, um, and I loved it, you know, so if somebody wants to learn about astrology, I do lessons as well.

Javier:

That's amazing. Thank you so much, Regina. I'll also, and I love it. I'll also leave, um, all of her info linked in the episode description. Thank you again Regina, and

Regina:

you are welcome

Javier:

with

Regina:

my pleasure.

Javier:

Thank you. It was very pleasure having you on. Um, so like always with that being said, remember love isn't something we chase. It's something we're built for. I love you guys. Till next time.